Some comments for Charles

Here are some comments so far on recent writing exercises... Charles - I have a book suggestion for you. Cormac McCarthy's The Road. I can lend it to you, as I think it's something you should try to read this semester as you work on your piece. If you do have the time to read it pay careful attention to the language, the way McCarthy underplays certain dramatic moments; it's a story about the end of the world but he never pushes the drama over the top. The emotional pitch is just right. Here the emotional pitch feels off. The language might be trying too hard, especially in the opening pages, and it really doesn't have to given the innate drama of the situation. I would try writing a scene that uses quiet and stillness, both in the situation and the language. What was the Spinal Tap joke about the amps going up to 11? As writers we don't have that resource--we need quiet to contrast loudness, as something to measure the intensity by.