Monday, September 29, 2008
And more comments...
Adam,
Nice stuff. I feel that this episode really takes off on page two ("I had started just days before Mardi Gras at this new restaurant...") when we get locked into the scene a little more solidly. The stuff that comes before helps to situate the reader, but some of this feels flat ("I work as a busboy" in the opening line) and would it be stronger to learn this on the fly, so to speak, as we experience what he's experiencing at the new restaurant? Something to think about in terms of the way you write scenes throughout the novella...
I especially like his asides about money, and his willingness to submit to indignities without feeling as if they say anything about him as a person. Is this an attitude that's going to be tested as the storyline moves forward?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
i'm drawn to the way marquez is able to create the larger picture by his use of smaller details... he adds a sort of sacredness and importance to his style, which keeps the story alive for me. i get this organic feeling as i read him... that everything is either blooming or rotting, always in some kind of transition.... becomming or not becomming. i love it. -stephanie
Post a Comment