Revised Manifesto, Kevin Eib

I resist telling the truth. Which may sound like a contradiction for a non-fiction writer. It's not the truth I'm interested in writing, but my truth. I'm not concerned with justifying my memories with exact details. Memories change. Truths change. I know when I'm telling the truth, my truth, and when I'm not. I'm not opposed to lying once in awhile. Stretching the truth, omitting pertinent details on purpose--whatever you want to call it. We're all full of a little bullshit. My stories are rarely the same from one telling to the next. Deciding on the best version is usually the crux. I resist lying in my journal. Some days I'm more honest with myself than others. I can't bother with worrying whether others think I'm full of shit or not. At the end of the day (or story) it's myself I have to live with. I've got my own bullshit detector (sometimes I like the bullshit better) and I expect readers to have theirs. When my voice wanders too far away from the truth, my truth, I'll simply change a few names and call it fiction. Fiction doesn't seem so far from the truth anyway. Fiction requires just as much honesty to the characters and story as non-fiction. Making a big deal over distinguishing fiction from non-fiction shouldn't get in the way of being honest to the story being told. I can label it later. I resist implicating my friends and family in my non-fiction. Hell, in my fiction too. But I'm getting better about this resistance. Who am I really trying to protect? How can I tell my story if I edit out the people who have been the most integral in shaping it? It's a good resistance to be aware of but I can't let it get in the way of being true to myself and my stories. I resist being finished. Resist sharing. There's always more to add, something to revise or finalize. Something that's not quite right. Something too personal. Something not personal enough. A name, a detail--a title (sometimes the whole damn story). It's a lot easier for me to edit and judge a work than to sing its praise and stand completely behind every word. With time I expect that to change. By time I'm probably referring to revision. Hear that resistance to finishing? Confidence, man, confidence. And work. And sharing. What's the point of writing if we're not sharing?