Jenni: I enjoyed the detail of setting you find in all your writings. In the first exercise I get a real sense of character through the description of the workplace. The character naturally extends from the confines of that environment (ick, I don't want to work there); there is a nice balance of fully understanding the character through her placement and function in the setting.
When the writing focuses on action in Exercise 2, I still sense a solid grounding in setting the scene--especially those first two full paragraphs. It's interesting how the details of the surroundings can offer movement. Not only are the characters engaged in specific activities but the sky (which I likened to a character) and debris are also active. The entire landscape is filled with action. The final phrase, "piles of life pass by" is especially indicative of the action I felt.
There seems to be a pattern--a layering or progression--with these writing exercises. Even though the third exercise takes place inside the character's mind, the elements of writing explored in the previous exercises are integrated in the writing, though limited in their function to allow me further into the character's thoughts. You haven't neglected other elements but rather highlighted a new one, in this case the inner monologue.
The final paragraph is amazing. In the first sentence alone I detect all the elements previously explored. There is a richness in the detail provided (this was my favorite sentence of yours.) The complexity of the sentence allows the scene to succinctly unfold, providing access to the world you create. You have a knack for letting the scene reveal itself through the characters and action of the scene. Thanks for letting me in to all of the worlds you are creating. I get a real sense for where I am, as if I'm being welcomed in to all of your writings. Keep inviting me, it's a good place to go. :Kevin.
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