From Kate to Kevin

In Writing Exercise #1 I really enjoy the subtle details you incorporate—the orange and brown floral apron; the character’s soft, thin hands; the fingernails that took him a month to grow out; his bony knees. Also, you’re really specific with the things the character does, and I appreciate how intentional you are about these details, which makes me want to know the meaning behind them (but maybe I’m being too psychoanalytical). For example, he intentionally chooses the shot glass with a Puerto Vallarta insignia and I want to know why, beyond his aunt having visited there, he decides on that one in particular; he chooses the toilet brush to clean the oven, which is a great and bizarre and funny detail, and I want to know what about this cleaning device he thinks will be effective; he smiles at the smell of the nail polish remover, which is also a great detail, and I want to know if he’s reminded of something or feels a certain way when he smells it—why the smile?; also, he looks into the mirror and considers powdering his face, even though he’s not getting ready for a show or anything, and I want to know why he’s considering doing that at that particular moment. Like I said, I’m probably trying to psychoanalyze this character too much (I've been reading a lot of theory lately), but all these details are so well crafted, I just want them to tell me something more about the guy. Exercise #2 and #3 were definitely my favorites. “…short, quick strokes”?! I can’t believe you tell me my writing sounds like sex. That bit of description really added to the energy of the story, and started it off on a wonderful note. Likewise, the following two paragraphs were incredibly action packed, and the paragraph that starts off “I gotta beat Nolan to home and bed or there’ll be hell to pay…” adds lots of tension. With regard to action, there were a couple times where I wish you’d slow things down a bit—when Char gets pulled over by the police and when they abandon the officer’s body. I think the ending is the most interesting part of this piece because the questions of character motivation are hinted at, as Char says, “This has gotta stop, honey. We won’t have no family left.” I already talked to you a bit about #3, but I really like this piece because I think you do a great job combining the familiar and unfamiliar—the familiar being Char’s conflict in staying with her conniving husband and trying to have faith in him despite what her instinct tells her, and the unfamiliar being the couple running away from the law (this was unfamiliar for me, at least). This makes the story very readable, and I look forward to getting more of it. Exercise #4, which I’d already read, is very mysterious, but with the information you gave me last week it makes more sense—the golden feathers being of Big Bird and all. Mostly I love that you’ve made the entire paragraph into one long sentence, which I know is unusual for you. Nicely done.