Dear Doug; Sincerely, Kyle.

So Doug. What I’ve enjoyed most about all your pieces for the blog has been your use of language. You have a real knack for colorful language that propels the action (or internal monologue, as the third exercise demonstrates). That “gurgles and chugs” from the first exercise, for instance. Or your little critter’s “primo jowl section” from number four. I love your use of language like this, because it’s at once fresh and rhythmic (poets, poets). Rhythm counts a lot to me, and it seems you have some really great moments at capturing a certain cadence in your words and sentences. Gurgles and chugs work so well together. The same goes for “suds and flood” in your most recent exercise.

Beyond that, there’s the issue of unexpected language, something – a word or phrase – that jumps off the page because of its very startling-ness. Startle-ability. It’s nice to see objects described in new ways rather than the tired old clichés we see so often. So when a character “slurps the wine like miso soup,” or holds onto “the driver’s short shoulder” I get psyched. Way to go. Short shoulder? I’m not even sure what that means, but I love it. And I know we’ve spoken a little about this, but your use of word-play seems to work well for me. Some examples: “Ceiling tiles. Nine times nine is eighty-one. The year we moved to Texas…”; “Same shit different day is my day in day out, except for today”; the dialogue/monologue (“Canada, Heath, aviation, baseball, motorcycle … Anathema, beat, probation, overalls, boat and FICA”) from the first exercise. There are more, but these are the ones that stood out. Whenever a writer can make me stop and think about the words he’s using, about how words create meaning, and what layered meanings certain words can create (and not only stop and think about but marvel at), that’s something to be proud of. So be proud, Doug. Be proud. I’ve been trying to figure out some prose writers to recommend, writers who share an interest in this sort of playful and thoughtful handling of words … and I’m kind of at a loss. I think TC Boyle and Tom Robbins are both writers to look at, if you haven’t already. They’re doing different things than you, but they both share a keen eye for picking unusual, surprising, and colorful diction to push their stories along. If anyone else has recommendations, please add them to the comments section.

One suggestion I can make is to try to do more with character, try to make your characters as unique and varied as your language. How do they stand out from others? What makes them human? Or critter, as the case may be in exercise four? The best example, for me, of making a character completely real, completely felt, thus far, has been in the third exercise, when you write: “I try to stay out of trouble. I sometimes get pulled over. Sometimes I drive drunk. I get into bar fights.” Now that is just plain awesome. The complexity of the character (and what he sees himself as) is revealed in those couple lines beautifully. And I guess I’d like to see you do more of this kind of thing.